Saturday 2 September 2017

ADULTERY?


SEXUAL SINS OR NOT?
 
Sex has always played a big role in creation. Animals act on instinct and thus procreate. Humans are different. Sex has the purpose of procreation but also of bonding and enjoyment.
When talking about sex, things like marriage, fornication, adultery, “consenting adults”, “friends with benefits”, “casual sex”, “swinging”, homosexuality, bi-sexuality”, prostitution, zoophilia, rape, incest, GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction), “avunculate marriage”, sexbots, etc. come up.

This is not a scientific study on sex and sexual relationships. We’ll look at general trends, behaviour of people in this field, and gather info from various sources to get a general picture of what is going on in the world of sexual relationships.

Sex according to the Bible:

Here I’ll refer to Kerby Anderson summary:
God created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings. But because of sin in the world (Rom. 3:23), sex has been misused and abused (Rom. 1:24-25).

A biblical perspective of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. First, it establishes the one-flesh union (Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:4-6). Second, it provides for sexual intimacy within the marriage bond. The use of the word “know” indicates a profound meaning of sexual intercourse (Gen. 4:1). Third, sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov. 5:18-19). Fourth, sexual intercourse is for procreation (Gen. 1:28).

Sex is very powerful and can be compared to nuclear energy. Within certain specifications of containment it is very useful, without the bounds of containment it is very dangerous en even very destruct full and can cause disasters and lead to death

In the upcoming “pages” we will look closer at the various types of sexual relations for example fornication, adultery, prostitution, rape, homosexuality, pornography, sexbots, necrophilia, etc.

These pages are mainly put together from other sources, written by various people, on these matters. Credit is given and sources are quoted. 

SOME OF THE INFO MIGHT BE DISTRUBING TO SOME PEOPLE, BUT THE PURPOSE IS TO PORTRAY WHAT GOING ON IN THE WORLD,  JUST AS THE BIBLE IN VARIOUS PLACES ADDRESS THESE THINGS DIRECTLY.

ADULTERY


 
DEFINITION

Secular

1. voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/adultery

2. Voluntary sexual relations between an individual who is married and someone who is not the individual's spouse or extramarital sex.  http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/adultery

3. Adultery is defined as sexual relations between a married person and anyone except their spouse. https://www.aol.co.uk/news/2015/09/10/where-is-adultery-illegal/
 

Biblical

An adulterer was a man who had illicit intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such a woman was an adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great sin. http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/eastons-bible-dictionary/adultery.html

 
GENERAL

Adultery is the cause of many a failed marriage. Various questions can be asked.

1. Is marriage still important?

Here I don’t want to discus that, apart from saying:

·         Marriage portrays commitment

·         If you are not married and you are in a sexual relationship, then read the page on Fornication

 2. Is it still adultery when both spouses agree to have sexual relations with other people? (“Swinging”, “Wife swapping”, “Open marriages”, “casual ses”)

We’ll address it in this page.

WHY ALL THIS INFORMATION IN THE BLOG? TO SHOW HOW WIDESPREAD THE PROBLEM ARE. THE MAJORITY TEND TO IGNORE IT. BUT WE MUST FACE IT AND STAND AGAINST IT.
 
LAW IN COUNTRIES

South Korea was one of only three Asian countries to still criminalise adultery, alongside Taiwan and the Philippines.

 All European nations have decriminalised adultery and, while it is not considered a criminal offence in most Western parts, it may still have legal consequences, especially in divorce proceedings.

Countries governed by Islamic law, including Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Somalia, all strictly prohibit "zina", or "fornication outside marriage". Prosecutions are common and punishment can include fines, arbitrary detention, imprisonment, flogging and in extreme cases, the death penalty. Women are overwhelmingly targeted.

Adultery remains illegal in 21 states across the US. The laws "extend back to the Old Testament", when women were treated as property, the New York Times reports.


 
In most states, including New York, cheating on your spouse is considered only a misdemeanour. However, in others like Idaho, Massachusetts, Michigan, Oklahoma and Wisconsin, it is a felony crime. Prosecutions are rare, but they do occur and punishments can range from a $10 fine in Maryland to life imprisonment in Michigan, according to Mother Jones.  http://www.theweek.co.uk/62723/adultery-laws-where-is-cheating-still-illegal
 

 


 

Taiwan's adultery laws are an anomaly in the region, with the offence punishable by up to a year in prison. The country's minister of culture Lung Ying-tai has described the laws as archaic and embarrassing, according to the Asia Sentinel.   http://www.theweek.co.uk/62723/adultery-laws-where-is-cheating-still-illegal

EXAMPLES OF BEHAVIOUR OF PEOPLE
How people change in opinion through the years

 
ADULTERY – Having sex with someone you’re not married to. Even only once. This has lead to the break-up of many a marriage and heartache.


 
 


 


OPEN MARRIAGES
A marriage in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.

 
 

POLYAMORY /SWINGING - The practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

 
This lifestyle is embrace by many people even in the smallest towns especially in the western world. It is practised in private homes or in clubs. If you look at number op clubs advertising and the membership number, then you see that millions of people are into this lifestyle. 

An estimated 130,000 sign onto swingers site Fab Swingers every day.

A study commissioned back in 2008 suggested that, even then, there were an estimated one million swingers in the UK.

By 2011, some estimates put the number of American swingers at 15 million, 60 per cent of whom said it improved their relationship. SEVENTY per cent polled said they experienced no jealousy.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2645937/what-is-swinging-wife-swapping-fab-swingers-sex/


 
Books and novels to promote swinging are written.

 
 
 
Movies are made
 
 
 
Documentaries produced
 

 
Even so-called Christians have joined in the party

“SWINGING CHRISTIANS”
 

Here is one couple’s story

Dean and Christy Parave truly believe that swinging help them in spreading the word of God. Swinging (sexual practice) is an arrangement in which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others.

Now mum-of-three Christy studies the Bible with husband of seven years, Dean, 50, but also indulges in extra-marital sex with her hubby’s consent. They also created the website, FitnessSwingers.com to regularly enjoy changing partners with other couples.

Cristy said: “I don’t think God would be mad at what we are doing – at first I was conflicted but the more we looked at it the more it makes sense to us. 

Dean and I are both in agreement with this lifestyle, so we’re not committing adultery.

God put people on the earth to breed and enjoy each other – I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.” https://answeringchristian.wordpress.com/tag/wife-swapping/ 


A Warning to Christians

A new dating website called CHRISTIANS wingers is sending ripples throughout the Christian community for offering "faithful couples" the opportunity to "hookup" with each other. One mental health professional warns the practice will lead to nothing but "pain."

Having been to seminary as well as being trained as a licensed mental health counselor, and as a Christian, it is unbiblical, it is sinful," Nielsen told The Christian Post on Thursday.

"God doesn't stop loving anyone, but it is not a behavior that is in anyway appropriate for Christians or for anyone else. It's just not. I feel sad for the people who are involved in it. I have never seen it result in anything but pain in a marriage," she noted. "It is not something that can be endorsed in a Christian context at all."


 
Open marriage, swinging, wife swapping, polyamore Christians?

It was surprising to find out that a family friend who attended church revealed that she and her husband believed in an open marriage. She said that according to John 3:16 that she accepted Jesus and "Regardless of how much I break those rules, Jesus will take care of me." Okay, so Jesus is cool with adultery? Not likely. This was a shock because this is a no-no in the Christian world, right? But so was the Ashley Madison website, which made waves through the Christian community. You might recall them, they encouraged people to have an affair because it would enrich the relationship. There were believers who also visited the hookup site. Not all Christians are on board with this belief, however, and thank goodness. Christiannews.com reported that the subscribers of the Ladies Who Love the Lord Facebook fan page were asked: "Is outsourcing intimacy in a marriage is considered adultery, even if it’s an amicable agreement between the couple?" The participants were asked to back up their beliefs with Scripture and most respondents agreed that this was an act of adultery. For those who support open relationships, stay fastened.

WIFE SWAPPING – The same as polyamory/swinging, but mainly only with  certain couple or couples, with the consent of all involved.





Sometimes in the news

 

 THE AFTER EFFECTS OF WIFE SWAPPING/SWINGING/POLYAMORE/OPENMARRIAGE

 First, there will be effects. Swinging or wife swapping changes you and your marriage. Bringing someone else into the most intimate part of your life makes an impact.

Telling yourself that it’s only recreational, or adult fun is fooling yourself. Yes, you’ll wake up the next day, yet your marriage will be changed. That special bond only you two shared is GONE.

Second, not only are their effects, they aren’t reversible. You can not undo what has been done. You can learn ways of living with it or moving past it, but it can’t be undone.

Although you can treat STD’s and use the abortion option, these actions don’t undo anything. They cover up the effects, but don’t undo them. You can unsee what has already transpired.

Third, the effects are multi-dimensional. They occur across a wide swath of areas and they occur on many levels.

The effects impact marriages on an individual level and at the family of origin and societal level of functioning. Trying to diminish the effects by claiming that it was just ‘consenting adults’ having fun is putting blinders on what’s actually happening.

There are the external effects and the internal effects.  Externally, there is increased exposure to sexually transmitted diseases and foreign bacteria.

Even when the people you’re swapping wives with are ‘clean’, you are assuming they are telling you the truth and assuming that the bacteria and organisms in their body are risks you are willing to expose yourself and your spouse to. Those other wives may not be as clean as yours is.

This is one reason behind the ‘infections’ that often happen afterwards. You may have never made the connection. From this point on, pay attention to when infections flare up and swapping play times.

Let me spell this out the health issues. Those in non-monogamous relationships have been found to have shorter lives, take longer to recover from illnesses, and are unhealthier than their monogamous counter parts (per John Gottman).

When your swinging includes people who test limits, they’ll test limits in sexual activities as well. You may set limits, but that doesn’t mean that limit testers will respect them or follow them.

They’ll also test limits on ‘protection’ and protective practices. It’s not uncommon for them to ‘intentionally on purpose’ not use protection. They may also ‘accidentally’ let the condom slip off (aka ‘stealthing‘) or get rougher than you agreed to.

Fourthly, there are the bonding issues, which I addressed in a previous post. What I can tell you is that researchers studying the many dimensions of human bonding are only now beginning to understand that it is not just chemical, but also electrical and possibly magnetic in nature.

This means bonding is much more than just the release of the neurochemical,  dopamine. With the creation of new connections and their activation, there are changes in who you desire and the intensity of your desire.

Bonding changes how you feel about your spouse and swing partners. Swinging changes you, physically and emotionally. It changes you down to the molecular level.

The bonding changes how you think, what you feel, what you remember and how you process new information. The experience rewires your brain and your emotions.

Spiritually oriented people have discussed personal magnetic fields for years and how sleeping around weakens those personal magnetic fields. Although you don’t see it, the people you are with changes the energy fields around you.

Researchers are finding that magnetic fields influence biological processes like sleeping, so it would not be far fetched to say they influence bonding as well. I have not personally researched this area, yet I can not dismiss its influence as negligible either.

When science is unable to explain bonding and all the chemicals involved, what’s the likelihood that some swingers expert knows more than the researchers do?

They may base their knowledge on their social experiences, but that doesn’t mean that they fully understand the effects of creating new bonds and disrupting old ones has on people physically or psychologically.

Then you have to consider the social effects. Wife swapping changes your social atom. It changes the whole nature of the relationships and the people you associate with.

It can also become a source of alienation between you and other family members. You have to consider who knows and who you do not want to know.

When you have to be concerned with such matters, it does not pass what my brother-in-law calls the “sniff” test. If it doesn’t smell right, then it’s likely not something you want to be doing.

Having to keep secrets along with tracking who is “in” and who is “out” of your social atom, along with having to be careful about who know what does not pass my own sniff test. Having a secret life that has to remain hidden is not a hallmark of healthy human relationships to me.

Internally, there are issues concerning guilt or buyer’s remorse. I saw this very plain when I talked with Rachel about her ‘swinging’ experiences. She often made sure that she was drunk before ‘playtime’.  The room where relations occur are even frequently referred to as “playgrounds” or “playpens”.

Numbing her conscience was the only way Rachel could swing. Whenever possible, she limited her play to same sex. She felt like it was a betrayal to her husband and her marriage vows when it came time to be with other men. Swinging for her became an emotional nightmare.

She loved her husband, and didn’t want to loose him. For her, wife swapping was about keeping her husband and making him happy. His happiness became her new standard.

Rather than look at what she was doing in terms of right and wrong, she viewed all she was doing in terms of whether or not it pleased her husband. Pleasing him became her new moral standard.

When he approached her about having a website filled with her photos and short videos, she consented, thinking it would improve their marriage. About all the photos and videos did was to make money for him.

Over time the nude photos and videos became a source of shame that she often had to hope that people did not find. She never intended for the wife swapping to go that far, but…it made him happy.

Having to make sure that you are numbed out in order to wife swap does not sound healthy or wholesome or natural to me. Neither does being exploited in pictures and videos. Rachel was tired of this way of living and the toll it took on her.

The increased sexual activity will lead to the desire for more. Your sex life will change. Part of the change is that you no longer desire the exclusivity of your spouse, you want others as well.
 
The increased sex drive changes the way you’ll look at members of the opposite sex. You’ll view them as sex objects first, then as people. You will also be more attuned to sexual vibes.

The tuning into sexual vibes often leads to impulsive sexual decisions. You may find yourself having sex behind your spouse’s back.

This takes me back to the question I asked at first, “What effects are willing to accept?” You have to consider how far you are willing to go, because once the wife swapping starts, it will take you deeper and further into the darkness than you had planned to go.

If you’re struggling with the effects from swinging you may be experiencing relationship trauma. You don’t have to get drunk, take pills or medications to numb yourself out, and keep symptoms under control.

When you have been traumatized, there are reasons for you not being able to ‘get over it’ and bounce back.

When you are ready to do something about changing a swinger lifestyle and recovering from it, my video  Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers“. Provides you with the tools, exercises and techniques you need in understanding and moving past what has happened to you.

 
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS

 1. What does the bible say about adultery?
 
2. "What does the Bible say about an open marriage, polyamory /swinging?"

Answer:
An open marriage is generally defined as a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed by the other spouse to have sex with other people. The two primary types of open marriages are polyamory and swinging. Polyamory is when the extra-marital affairs purportedly involve emotional love. Swinging is when the extra-marital affairs only involve recreational/casual sex.

No, the Bible nowhere explicitly addresses polyamory, swinging, or the idea of an open marriage. The idea that one spouse should consent to the other spouse having sex with other people is absolutely foreign to the Bible. The Bible speaks of sex within marriage as pure (Hebrews 13:4). The Bible speaks of sex outside of marriage as immoral and adulterous (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18; 10:8; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

The question is sometimes raised as to whether a polyamorous relationship should be considered adultery if the other spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. The answer is an unequivocal yes! God is the one who
defines what marriage is and what adultery is. God, in His Word, has declared sex outside of marriage to be adultery (Exodus 20:14). A spouse’s giving permission to sin does not overrule God’s Law. We do not have the authority to create exceptions to what God has declared to be sinful.

Aside from the biblical declarations that they are sin, polyamorous relationships cannot fulfill what the Bible says a marriage is to be. A married couple cannot be “one flesh”
(Genesis 2:24) if multiple “fleshes” are involved. A married couple cannot fully love one another if that love is divided among other people. There cannot be true intimacy if what is supposed to be intimate is shared with others. Polyamory is not marriage. In no sense is a marriage supposed to be open to sexual activity outside of the marriage.

Polyamory is, in reality, “poly-lust-ory.” There is nothing loving about it. This perversion of marriage is confirmation that “every intention of the thoughts of our hearts is only evil continually,” and that, without God, “everyone does what is right in his own eyes”
(see Genesis 6:5 and Judges 21:25).

We bend Scriptures to meet our needs.


People misquote Scriptures and bend it to meet their own desires. Adultery defiles the marriage, according to the Bible. You shall not commit adultery. This is not limited to sex outside of marriage. God commands us to abstain from all sexual immorality, including premarital sex, homosexuality, incest, voyeurism, bestiality and public nudity. But like with anything else we want to justify our actions to ease our minds and perhaps trick our souls as well. As Christians, we can't be the proverbial ostriches burying our heads in the sand and excuse this as a standard.

It's not part of God's plan.


Do you both view sexual acts as part of becoming one flesh? If you don't this could be the reason you feel that having an open marriage is fine. God established the one flesh relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a "Man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become one flesh with her." Marriage and sex are intended to be part of God's perfect plan. When we step out to have multiple sex partners, we damage our spirit and maybe our health. Sex binds people together physically, emotionally and spiritually. Mark 10:9 also confirmed that when people are joined together that it is a powerful force. "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

It's a sin.


Ephesians 5:3 is pretty straightforward about sexual immorality. “But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." One definition of sexual immorality is sex with someone who is not your spouse. Another term for this behavior is adultery. You can call it "swinging" or having an "open marriage," but it is a sin according to the Bible. When people make excuses for the act, it may make them feel better at the time, but they know in their hearts that sex outside of the marriage is damaging.

People are deceived.


TV shows and websites love to glamorize sex outside of marriage. Many people think as long as they aren’t physically touching someone other than their spouse, they are not being unfaithful. But the more you commit visual adultery, the more likely you are to end up engaging in an open marriage. Jesus said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Not many today preach on sin and the consequences of our actions because this would reduce revenues streams for the church. Because we are not open to hearing our own faults and sins, we are being deceived.

People don't guard their hearts.

Webster’s Dictionary defines adultery as “Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.” Satan wants us to become out of balance so we drift further away from God and His mission. As recorded in Romans 10:17: “Satan immediately comes and takes away the word which was sown in them.” We need to also pay attention on how the devil uses conditions to trick us, even if it seems like it's inoffensive.

It's selfish.


Let's get honest and admit consenting to adultery and calling it "an open marriage" is self-centered and parsimonious. You don't have to be a believer figure this out. Author Jessica Burke said sex is important to marriage "But good sex does not make a good marriage. Good sex is the result of a good marriage. Sex is unique because of the way it bonds two people together physically in a vulnerable and intimate way." She was right, sex is part of the relationship, but it is not the only critical element. What about fidelity? Isn't this important? We can't just mold marriage into what we demand it to be. "If we redefine marriage, we redefine family. Everything that broadens the definition of marriage and family into nothingness takes us a little closer to eliminating the foundation so significant to our existence," she added.

Slap whatever label you want on it, friend, but an open marriage is a sin and it doesn't matter how many Scriptures you erroneously try to back it up with. Pray and allow the Lord to minister to your heart.

 








 
SUMMARY

Adultery is part of human nature (a sinful nature). Everyone is seceptable to it.

  Wife swapping/swinging/polyamore/open marriage is not God’s will for your life

 
SOLUTION

Your heart must be changed, because Scripture (The bible) says:

Mark 7:21-23 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness 23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

 

 


The solution to this disillusioned lifestyle is the Christian gospel. A Gospel of forgiveness and restoration.
ALL OF US ARE SINNERS


 
 
ALL OF US MUST GO TO AN ETERNAL HELL 
 

CHRIST PAID THE PRICE FOR OUR SINS 
 

 
WE MUST BELIEVE AND CONFESS TO BE SAVED

 
IF YOU CALL YOU’LL BE SAVED


 

 
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